similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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