A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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