I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
