please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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