one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
