I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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