I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
