You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
