my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
