i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
