how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
never play flip cup with pint glasses
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
