I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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