After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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