She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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