omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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