girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
