fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
