Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
