She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
