Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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