I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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