we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
