So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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