dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
