my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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