He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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