Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
