you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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