I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
