But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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