Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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