another moral hangover. fuck.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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