haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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