MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
