So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
