I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
