just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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