Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
