Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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