My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
