yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I could have mohawked her pubes.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
