It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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