Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
