we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
