And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
