I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
