this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Welp...herpes.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
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