i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
