I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
