Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
